Life Lessons Learned from Watching Anime
Watch enough anime and you will surely witness some common yet strange occurrences. Beyond the impressive head of hair most anime characters possess, lies an interesting take on the world in general.
While most anime events are slightly exaggerated, they are quite useful learning experiences. Allot of these situations are possible to an extent. Time has been taken to document a few helpful anime lessons.
Pain IS love.
more often than not, male anime characters must literally beat females off with a stick. They like running up and tackling people as a sign of affection. Usually male anime characters end up in hospitals because of these excessive and violent advances.
For your own safty it would be a good idea to invest in armour of some sort. Also wearing track shoes at all times would be a smart move. It is sometimes better to just run away instead of bracing for impact.
women have magic purses.
some females in anime are scary. When angered they will most likely pull out mallets, frying pans or any other comically large object that can deal allot of damage. For some reason no one seems to see it coming.
this often results in either missed hits or grotesque lumps on the victims forehead. You must either depend on luck to avoid this from happening, or be really nice to everyone around you. Better safe than sorry…
Talking cat knows all.
It seems like animals live some kind of secret life in anime. Common household pets are able to gather allot of important information that relates to the fate of the entire world.
Take heed of the subtle warnings your dog or cat may give. If you find they are doing something abnormal such as levitating or communicating with you telepathically, it should be a sign of strange things to come.
Kids and mecha, perfect match.
very young children in anime have the uncanny ability to command giant walking suits. This is never explained, nor is it questioned by anyone. In some cases the kid turns out to be one the best pilots.
Children should be allowed on construction sites. Sure, at first he or she will struggle with the advanced controls. After a day or three the child will be creating big dirt mounds and stack metal pipe like a pro.
Beware well dressed man.
Anime villains are known for having very thick eyebrows, two ear rings and runs a big corporation. All business men in anime can be considered evil. The dreams and aspirations of an anime villan always involve world domination.
For this very reason you should never trust politicians, Alex Trebek or anyone in a suit. It does not matter how nice they may seem. their intentions usually involve deception and enslavement of all mankind.
Death waits for every man.
After receiving devastating wounds in anime, no one falls down right away. Anime characters always have enough life in them to make a long and insightful speech. Annoying thing about this is they always fail at complete their final sentence.
Everyone living a hostile lifestyle: Please prepare a short speech for every ones sake. People expecting inheritance shouldn't be left hanging just because you feel like telling your life story in your final minutes.
There it is, odd yet somewhat relevant anime happenings. Applying these lessons to everyday life is optional. Thus far I have avoided serious injury from loved ones, shady dealings from business men and taken helpful advice from my dog on many occasions. So far life has been golden.